I started out my one day in Thailand following the directions posted on the message board by the illiterate Australian hostel owner. Bangkok has a fast clean and efficient light rail system, which was three and a half block away. Rather than take that, he recommends a water route. So I made my way to the dirty canal and jumped onto the boat which drops you off near the river. I was the only foreigner on the boat, that was cool. That’s where the fun ended. The next leg of the trip was supposed to continue on from the river, but unfortunately, you have to walk to the river to catch the river taxi but the only person there who spoke English told me that today was a special day and that the King implemented a plan to promote tourism. The government was allegedly subsidizing all tuk-tuks (the little scooter-like taxis) and they will take you to any sites you want for the whole day for only 70 cents. He’ll wait for you and take you on to the next place, all day.
I know that if a deal sounds too good to be true, then it probably is, but I am also extremely curious how this will play out. So after confirming the price, I climb on board his friend’s tuk-tuk. As we’re driving down the road to who knows where, because the street signs are mostly in Thai, and when he wasn’t looking I stashed my money in my bag and started imagining being taken to an alley where his friends are waiting for me to harvest my kidneys.
We arrive at the first temple, the standing Buddha, which is 45meters high. Suddenly it occurs to me that this is exactly the Bangkok I remembered, temples and shopping. Oh well, I planned a day of taking pictures of Buddhas so I might as well finish that up. I figured I would head back to the hotel around noon and come up with the roadmap for the rest of my stay. The next stop is the black Buddha. Here I meet a man who tells me he’s from SF and owns Phuket restaurant on Haight Street. He also tells me that he had bought a massive amount of jewelry from the government export shop the day before which he plans to sell to Tiffany’s for a huge profit, as he does every year. The story goes that this was the last day of a one-week a year period when the government suspends export duties on jewelry in this one outlet only. The regular export duty is regularly 198%. I explained I was broke and not here to conduct business. He suggested I should max out my credit cards and pull out all the money I can so I could buy as much as I can and sell it for double.
Coincidentally, that very same export shop was our next stop. I took an obligatory walk inside and chatted with a sales person about how bad traffic is getting in Bangkok. When I left my tuk-tuk driver asked if I had bought anything and I said no, and that I had already explained to him I am not interested in buying jewelry. He then took me to the next temple. Then to a tailor shop. I told him I’m not interested and he explained the scam to me. He gets a 5-liter gasoline card for every shop he takes me to and even more if I buy something. OK, I get it now, no problem I’ll help him get another 5 and maybe buy some trinket to help him out. He takes me to a tailor and a souvenir shop. Everything’s expensive so I walk back out, empty-handed. Now this is getting a little annoying, and embarrassing at the stores. It is also eating away at my day. He tells me, just one more stop, a government factory, very cheap things there. I ended up buying the cheapest thing I could find, a silver ring for about $14. I thought he’d be thrilled but he was totally ungrateful. He then took me to the Marble Temple and told me the other temples were near by and took off. This was fine, the other temples were right there, so I could make a day of it, no problem. At the Marble Temple I met an ethnic Chinese couple from KL. They were snapping hundred of pictures of each other there and asked me to take some of them. A bit later they asked me if I would come with them and see some more temples. I thought, great, we’re going to the same places I could use the company. When we get outside their tuk-tuk driver was waiting for them with the same tourist hassle. We went to the Chinese factory before making it back to a place I could have walked to in a few minutes from where we left. The Reclining Buddha was big. Then we went to a jewelry factory, and then back to pretty much where we started to go to the temple I really wanted to see. Wat Po was beautiful. At first all I did was take an insane number of pictures for this couple. I got bored and snuck away to take pictures on my own. By now I was exhausted and couldn’t bare to see another temple or the palace, so I asked around where the Metro was. I had given my map to the Malaysian couple. I knew the Metro was close but didn’t know how to get to it. No one understood me, except one of the guys who scams you into the tuk-tuks. I explained I had been there and just not interested. He convinced me that one stop for 10 minutes and the driver will take me the rest of the way. Fine, I just want to get home. When I get out of the store the driver offers to take me back for $3, which is actually a lot compared to the fair price. So I get out of his vehicle and do something to him I’m not terrible proud of and he drives away. Right now I’m feeling scammed by everyone. I hate Bangkok. The hawkers, the drivers, the Malaysian tourists, they all wasted my time and made this experience miserable. I find my way to the Metro and to the hostel. I have decided to cut my time in Bangkok short and leave the next day. I booked a bus ride to Siem Reap through my hostel. I was originally planning on taking a $2 train to the border then crossing over and arranging transport the rest of the way. That is certainly possible, but difficult and I don’t want anymore hassle, so I’ll pay for convenience and reliability. I then call my aunt who arranges for me to meet the family over dinner. Everything turned around after that call. I got an awesome Thai massage, a legit one, for only $7. I met for dinner and had a great time. The food was excellent and the conversation was amazing. The topic of conversation very quickly turned to politics as Pooja arrived. She works for an NGO and I would like to explain it here but it’s complicated. They talked about the possibility of demonstrations and how the army is mobilizing again that day in anticipation and that there may be another coup in the next week. Then we started talking about American politics. This family, with the youngest being 17, were better informed about US politics that just about any American I know. It makes sense, because we are pretty much shielded from the effects of our bad policies around the world. We may be struggling economically now but when the economy goes sour in the US, it turns rancid in the rest of the world.
After dinner Pooja took me back to the night market because there were some things I wanted to buy but was scared of the hawkers. It’s amazing how different Thailand is when you are with a Thai speaker. The get quoted the Thai price right off the bat, which is less than half the tourist price. Then they bargain down a little and the transaction is much more pleasant. Meters automatically go one when we sat down, even from the night market. Talking to my cousin was fascinating. She’s so smart, I could have chatted all night but it was getting late and she had to work and I had to get up early the next day. I wish I had called my family before I got here, I could have stayed in a nice house near the airport and had the local view, they could have told me the right places to go and the right way to get there. They are so cool, I hope it's not another decade before I see them again. I finally felt good about Bangkok.
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